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A drunken Englishman once told me on the street "Call me if you need help, cuz money rules the world and I've got money". We all need money and sometimes we don't have enough. We are still certainly in a recession (who do you know that is still looking for work?) and it certainly shows. More on that in a minute. But first, money. Money rules the world. Everyone just needs enough. "enough' looks different for different people. Some people get by on $1 a day. Others need more. I've got 'enough' for me. But since I've been in NYC, not a day has gone by that someone hasn't deliberately asked me right out for money.

The pitches are usually the same. I'm homeless. I'm out of work. I'm hungry and I'm a recovering addict. My kids are going hungry tonight. The presentation style is different, but the same feeling has driven them to ask in some way. The passive ones, perhaps the shy and embarrassed are the ones who are sitting on the corner with the cardboard signs. You notice, but it's pretty easy to ignore them. The aggressive go straight for the subway, and you're gonna have to face them come hell or high water. Once those doors close, they literally have you trapped for at least 30 seconds. That's more than enough time for the beads of sweat to start forming at the top of my forehead, getting hot under the collar and feeling the guilt wash over me. The pain is only multiplied when you are on an express train and the stops are farther apart. You see, I've made a decision not to give any of my money to people who approach me for money. I'm all for giving it to people in need (Church, feed my starving children, red cross, etc) or to someone who I single out and see the need for. But, since I don't know where that money I give to a random person is going to, I am more resistant.

It's a tough position to take. The pleas seem genuine, the people are REAL. They are talking to you. It's humbling and embarassing for them (they even admit it) - to go to a place of begging. Some are very subtle (a blind man who silently walked through the car shaking a cup of coins received 3 gifts, whereas a louder "God is always watching and judging you" man received none) and of course others are more forward. Tonight, my journey was interrupted by a 'brother and sister' who both went to college and found themselves out of work, homeless and all there blankets and clothes were stolen. They appeared clean and wore new clothes, but they gave the same humbling speech. They were asking money to spend the night in a hostel out of the rain. Yep, it was raining today. That adds to the guilt. Though I don't know if it had anything to do with it, they were white. Don't see too many white people begging on the subway, and you wonder why that is. Pocketbooks were coming open (yes, ladies, it seems you always are willing to give) and it appeared the duo received $2-3.

I realize that as I'm typing I'm becoming slightly cynical. I apologize. I'm not trying to judge these people (because I really don't know who they are and what the situation is), but something about these two siblings didn't add up. They looked too good to be homeless. Too clean. As I was getting off the train, I noticed the younger woman was wearing a Timbuk2 backpack. These usually cost around $75, so how did she get one? And why did you give up on your college degree? You didn't have anyone else to turn to before you resorted to begging on the subway?

I know there are people on the streets of New York tonight that legitamitely would love warmth and food. I just can't help but be skeptical for some of them. To the homeless people of New York, please go to the churches. Go ask for help, they will help you. Not only financially, but a place to stay, maybe even a job. And they will love on you like no other. I give to organizations like that because I know they know how to help. I am not judging you as you pass by and I don't reach for a quarter, or a dollar. I'm shooting out prayers for you as you pass by.

What I'm thinking is this. I don't want to give you money that you can spend anywhere for anything. If someone came up to me on the street and gave the same speech and instead of outright asking for money, asked me to buy them a hot dog or a sandwich I would not turn them down. Everybody needs food, water or even juice. They need nourishment. I can always offer to buy people who beg food (i usually do and get turned down...) but I will say from this day forward with confidence, if prompted, I will always buy someone in need some nourishment if they need a hot meal. But, I don't want to blindly support something that isn't going to benefit them or help them get out of homelessness. What do you think?

The theater is great here in NYC. Not only have you the best and biggest shows on Broadway, you have Off-Broadway and off-off Broadway. And then, you have the York Theater company on 54th and Lexington. This company devotes itself to bringing back old shows that they feel deserve a second look or helping stage new shows and give them a wider audience. The venue is intimate, only 175 seats and the staging varies with the amount of rehearsal time allotted. Tonight, I got to see a 'concert performance' (basic set, blocking and not memorized and a piano for accompaniment.) IT's a chance to see a new work and I actually really enjoyed it. Plus, I felt so naturally drawn in because the actors seemed much more approachable. They were right there. Not lost on a giant stage facing 1700 people. So not only have I seen the biggest and best (Next to Normal, Mary Poppins "disney extravagance", etc.) I've seen the small, the unpretentious, the genuine. There's no flashing marquee, no fancy lobby. Just a basement theater underneath a church. I step outside and get sucked back into the rain, staring up at the foggy sky shrouding the skyscraper tops into the clouds. I take the E to Times Sq then switch to the 3 to Brooklyn Heights, and crawl in my Murphy bed and go to sleep, thankful for its warmth and a dry place to lay my head.