first lesson: emotion

Today was the first round of private lessons with the wonderful Shari Anderson, a woman who is talented beyond belief and has impacted so many young people wanting to succeed. I hadn't seen Shari in a year and a half, so it was great to start working with her again. Shari has a unique style and presence- she makes you feel loved right from the get go. She doesn't let her experience and background create an ego wall between her and the student. She just comes at you from a person trying to help you be the best you can be. And that's exactly what she continues to do.

I prepared "Love to Me" from Light in the Piazza, "Colors of My Life" from Barnum and the "Vagabond" by John Ireland. I started off by running through all 3 pieces for Shari so she could get an idea of where my voice was at. Then, we pulled out Love to Me, and worked from an emotional standpoint to let the emotion consume me and resonate within me. Through some focusing and unlocking that emotion, I really made some great natural adjustments to my sound and the response was immediate from the people in the room. The thing is, sometimes I overthink when I sing. It's good to think about all these technical aspects when you're practicing. But I have to learn to trust myself when I perform and just put the emotion in, release into it and let go of all the thoughts. It's incredibly difficult.

Singing is an interesting process. It's difficult for a non-singer to understand the way we prepare, think, process and perform. It's so very different, there are so many layers to it, yet it comes off in a performance as looking 'easy'. It's not. It's the most challenging thing ever to have so much control yet be relaxed and natural. I'm still figuring out how to do it. But when I experience it, the trust-- it is immensely easier to sing and it connects with people. I think I'm gonna do that more often!

Saw "Billy Elliot" tonight. What a production. Lights, staging, dance numbers were all incredible. Then, we had the amazing opportunity to sit down with the cast, including the leads (Gregory Jbara who plays the father, and one of the "Billys" himself Trent Kowalik) Super talented cast and thanks to Cara Kjellman the dance captain for organizing it for us Bethel students and for working with us while we're here in NYC!

Stopped in at my favorite eatery here in Brooklyn: Park Plaza Diner. It's just down the block from the St. George and if you know a true diner, they have cheap prices, pretty good food and just about anything at any time of the day. Tonight: amazing cinnamon french toast, eggs, bacon and sausage. delicious!

In the city that never sleeps, i find myself quite tired. So, goodnight!

Catch Me I'm Falling (Reprise)

About 4 months ago, I was on a train from Freiburg, Germany to Interlaken, Switzerland to jump out of a plane. I was listening to the Next to Normal soundtrack, and the song “Catch Me I’m Falling” comes on my iPod. I listened to that song over and over, letting the lyrics and melodies consume me. I knew that that show would be on the top of my list to see when I came to New York in January.

Tonight, I found myself in line for a lottery—selling off a right to buy a seat for $25. Though my name was called, enough people won that we were able to go see it as a group. I ended up with my theater prof, and she was lucky enough to nab two seats, front row center. I spent most of the show looking straight up, like sitting too close to the screen in the theater. In this show there are just 6 cast members, and being able to see their tears and the spit fly out of their mouths when they spat out their lines always makes it seem even more real. These people are sweating and crying in front of you and you can’t stop the tears either.

Next to Normal is one of the rare shows that has the second act get better than the first. The songs I fell in love with made so much more in context (as did Catch Me I’m Falling). The depth of the characters grew immensely, and the acting was so BELIEVABLE. It felt so real. I know I will go see that show again.

Now, this weekend I saw 5 shows. My favorites were Ragtime and Next to Normal, but my favorite experience of all was the last two minutes of “Hair”. The a cappella version of “Let The Sunshine In” was simply stunning and set up the ending so well. Then, at the end, the cast invited us up on the stage after the bows: “Do you want to go dance?” I said, “YEAH!” So there I was, at the front of the stage, surrounded by the cast and some of the audience. The band was roaring the reprises and we’re all singing along. The audience is still full. I look up at the lights, feel their warmth. I see the back of the house and feel what it would be like to project all the way. I turn around and see the set, the flyhouse, the curtains, backstage. I look down at the edge of the stage, the front row, the floorboards. And as the songs were ending and the people started to leave, I looked at Wes and said, “This is what it’s like to be on a Broadway stage.”

I want to follow that dream. I want to sing, and act, and move people like the cast of Next to Normal. It might not be about the money, but it would be incredibly fun. I’m going to try to make it, and I’m going to do what I love.

Oh, and I’ve been eating tons of cheesecake.